


Help I'm haunted

by Stinastar



Series: Help I'm Haunted [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Banter, Geralt is still a Witcher, Jaskier protec monsters of all sorts, M/M, Netflix and chill?, Protective Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, ghost meddling, help I'm haunted, jaskier is soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27459439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stinastar/pseuds/Stinastar
Summary: Modern AU where Geralt is still a Witcher and his best friend Jaskier call him for help with an issue he has in his new apartment. They banter. It's fluffy, I think? Pretty light stuff here folks.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Help I'm Haunted [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2144769
Comments: 11
Kudos: 155





	Help I'm haunted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ElectricRituals](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElectricRituals/gifts).



> Prompt fill for ElectricRituals: “I’m telling you. I’m haunted.” Geraskier <3

Geralt let himself into his best friend’s apartment, toeing off his boots at the door. Jaskier had moved into the old building recently, drawn in by the extremely cheap rent.

“Jask?” He called out.

“Kitchen!” The answer came from further inside. Geralt followed the voice back to the little kitchen with yellowed linoleum and cupboards that might have once been white. Jaskier was leaning against the chipped countertop, slurping at a bowl of instant noodles. Geralt grunted a greeting.

“Got another?” He asked. Jaskier reached behind himself to open a cupboard to reveal a stack of more noodle bowls. Geralt grabbed one, shut the cupboard and set to filling the kettle. “So. What’s so urgent? I came straight from work.”

“Um. I think… I have a ghost?”

Geralt looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Uh huh.” Geralt said.

“I’m telling you. I’m haunted!”

“You’re _something_.”

“Geraaalt” Jaskier whined. “You never take me seriously!”

“It’s probably a rat.”

Jaskier spluttered.

“You… how dare… it is _not_ a rat.”

“It’s an old building, Jask. And you… aren’t the tidiest.” Geralt said as he filled his noodle bowl with boiling water.

Jaskier looked mildly guilty as he glanced around at the dishes stacked in the sink and the takeout containers beside it. He cleared his throat.

“It _isn’t_ a rat. My coffee mug has disappeared from beside the couch, then I’ll find it by the window, with coffee missing.”

“I’m sure you got distracted and just forgot that you did it.”

“I never got up from the couch! Until I found it by the window. And it’s happened multiple times, Geralt.”

Geralt made a sounds that sounded suspiciously like “really though?” Jaskier glared at him.

“ _Also_ , I’ve heard noises sometimes, like humming and tapping.” Jaskier said.

“It’s your neighbours.”

“It isn’t my _neighbours_ , Geralt! I know what they sound like. Maybe I should just call one of your brothers. Really, do you think I’m stupid?” Geralt looked at him with both eyebrows raised. “UGH. Fine, don’t answer that. You’re such an ass. Eat your noodles then do your Witchering! This apartment is too small to have a roommate. Especially one who doesn’t pay rent.”

Geralt snorted and gave his noodles a stir.

“Hmmm.”

“Thank you.”

Geralt ate his noodles and accepted a beer, cracking it open and draining a third of it in one go. Noodles gone, he took his beer and started moving slowly from room to room. He paid close attention to his medallion as he moved around, touching objects and walking into corners and closets.

“Not getting anything, Jaskier.”

“Well you’re not done yet, are you?”

“Mmm.” He entered the bathroom. Did his medallion just stir? He crossed the small room in two steps and leaned over the tub, and his medallion started vibrating strongly. He scowled.

“Jaskier” he said sharply. The brunet was behind him, leaning in the doorway.

“Yeah?”

“Anything ever happen in here? You take baths, right?” Geralt was suddenly feelings nervous, even though whatever was in Jaskier’s apartment was definitely something he could dispatch with relative ease.

“Yeah, I do. Um… I dunno, things seem… extra slippery in here? But I figured I’m just clumsy and imagining things. And sometimes I swear my drink moves on me in here too. AND, come to think of it, my music tends to act up in here… playing stuff I know isn’t on the playlist, skipping a song just after it starts…”

“Hmm. But nothing… more nefarious? You haven’t slipped, or… anything like that?” Geralt asked urgently. Jaskier frowned lightly.

“No, nothing unusual like that. Just… normal slipping.”

“Hmm. … Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”

“Oh, what, _now_ you believe me?”

“Your coffee cup supposedly moving is one thing, Jaskier, but something being in here when you’re partially submerged in water…” he shuddered. “I left my gear in my truck. I’ll go get it.” He started towards the door, then turned around. “Come with me. Uh, in case I need your help.” Jaskier rolled his eyes but slipped his shoes on and followed his friend’s broad back out into the hallway.

———

Back in Jaskier’s apartment with Geralt’s swords and bag, Jaskier fidgeted.

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Hmm?”

“The ghost. Or whatever.”

“Kill it?”

“But I mean, it doesn’t seem malicious.”

Geralt gave him a blank stare.

“What, you want to… ask it to sit down to tea?”

“Well, I don’t know, maybe we can just… ask it to leave?”

Geralt rolled his eyes. He grabbed his silver sword and headed towards the bathroom, and Jaskier trailed behind him. As Geralt entered the bathroom, he put his arm out to block Jaskier.

“Stay back out there.” Geralt said.

“Fine.” Jaskier answered, hovering just outside the doorway.

Geralt cast Yrden towards the bathtub, and suddenly a shadowy figure appeared in the bathtub, trapped by the sign the Witcher had cast. Jaskier gasped quietly behind him. Geralt started to raise his sword and the figure cowered, but he paused when Jaskier spoke up.

“Wait, Geralt! Um, hello there, uh, ghostie. I’m Jaskier, the new tenant here. I was hoping you might, ah, go haunt somewhere else, perhaps?”

“Where do you think I’d go?” A raspy voice replied.

“Well, uh, maybe there’s an empty apartment in the building? Or, ah, the upstairs neighbour is horrid, maybe you could go haunt him.”

There was a sharp shaky rasp that might have been a laugh.

“Can’t leave this apartment.” The figure replied.

“Ah. I see. Well. Do you, uh, harbour any ill will?” Jaskier asked.

“Only towards some of your musical choices. Also, you’re a bit of a slob.” It rasped.

Jaskier scoffed. Geralt flexed his hand, unsure of what to do.

“Well! Excuse _me_! I _thought_ I could live as I pleased, seeing as I’m _supposed_ to be living here _alone_.” Jaskier said.

“Fair enough,” the figure replied, seeming to laugh again. “Are you going to kill me? Or… not sure you can kill something that’s already dead? Don’t know what you call it, I suppose.”

Geralt looked back to Jaskier, his brow furrowed.

“Maybe we can come to an arrangement?” Jaskier ventured. “If you aren’t going to hurt anyone… I can put out another cup of coffee for you if you’ll leave mine alone. And since you can move a coffee cup, you could help tidy up around here, you know. Maybe I’ll even let you pick out the music now and then.”

“Jaskier” Geralt said, looking terribly lost.

There was a quiet hissing noise, then “I accept.”

“Wonderful!” Jaskier clapped his hands.

“You’re… going to live with it?” Geralt asked.

“Sure, why not. It was here first, after all, Geralt. And it seems to be reasonable. You can put your sword away.”

Geralt stared at him a moment, then shook his head and went to put his sword back in it’s scabbard in the living room. As he walked away the sign faded and the shadowy figure disappeared once again. Jaskier followed Geralt into the living room, bouncing a bit as he went.

“Maybe you could stay tonight, though, just in case?” Jaskier asked, rubbing his index finger and thumb together. “I’ll let you pick what we watch, and there’s more beer.”

Geralt grunted.

“Not about to leave you alone with this thing until I know it’s safe. Let a ghost stay, make it coffee. Daft.” He muttered, though his expression looked almost… fond?

Jaskier grinned. As they settled on the couch and Geralt scrolled the Netflix menu, Jaskier wiggled closer to his friend.

“I think maybe I’ll need a few days before I’m comfortable being alone here again with my new… roommate.” Jaskier said. Geralt wanted to point out that Jaskier was the one who chose to let it stay, but he was glad for the excuse to stay with his friend whom he had completely normal protective feelings over, and whom he missed completely normal amounts since Jaskier moved out of the building Geralt still lived in, so he swallowed his retort.

“Mmm. We should go grocery shopping tomorrow. I’m not living on noodle bowls.”

“Alright. Brunch first though.” Jaskier chirped, edging closer still to Geralt, who lifted his arm to drop it over Jaskier’s shoulders as he started the movie.

“Fine. I’ll buy brunch, you’re buying groceries.”

“Deal.”

The ghost lingered behind the couch watching the pair snuggled together and rolled its eyes. Or it would have, if it still had eyes. It had a few days to sort this out. It would find a way to move things forward between the two “friends.” It had plenty of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Your kudos and comments brighten my day 🌈💖  
> Check out my profile for more Witcher fics!  
> Find me on tumblr under stinawrites & stinastar


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